Adaptation

Change is never a bad thing. Every door you close opens a window.

I am a hypocrite.

I fear change like I fear spiders and hair in my food. Even when these things are not there, they are always on my mind...always partly in my consciousness.

I am at a stage in my life where things are changing. Growing. Stretching. Part of me fears that I'm not actually changing at all, but that my surroundings are, and I'm just learning to adapt. Maybe this is all change is. Adaptation. Acceptance. Maybe we don't change at all, we just learn to acknowledge and respect changes in others.

I think that sometimes we honestly just have to believe that we will change when we are ready, and when we are meant to change. I have spent many nights, many long days, beating myself up over the choices I have made and will make, and I have finally reached the conclusion that I'm doing everything as I should be. Don't push yourself. Trust that it will be ok.

It's hard. Hard not to interfere, but I think there's some beauty in getting it wrong, and somehow getting it completely right at the same time.

Everything really will be ok.

But I still don't have to like spiders.