The benefits of jamming the zipper on your jeans so badly that you have to keep them closed with a pin all day

1. I never have to worry about whether or not my fly is undone.

2. I managed to successfully kill 45 minutes of my work day, attempting to pry the zipper free.

3. It proves that there is actually a reason why we wear underpants.

4. It's 80's chic to hold your fly together with a safety pin.

5. I officially get to go shopping this weekend.

6. Not shaving my armpits this morning is no longer such a big deal.

7. I now have justification for obsessively carting around with me a plethora of safety pin and fastening devices.

8. I have rediscovered the beauty of the button-fly.

9. It's 35 degrees outside. Two words: AIR CONDITIONING.

10. Look at that, it gave me something to write about.